The next person that mentions a wedding is going to send me to the pyschiatric ward unable to stop crying. Someone that kindly tells me my church would love to pay for a wedding... or if I mention I might have some money left over after selling my car to put away for baby..."You should use that for your wedding."
I can't begin to tell you how rejected you're making me feel. My heart breaks a little more every time someone brings that topic up. It's NOT my choice! And every time this subject comes up my mind wanders a little bit more to the "I can't believe I'm so unwanted..." realm. It doesn't need to be there. I don't need to recall that painful conversation we had before. I don't need to feel sorry for myself. I don't need to feel alone.
Please, please, please!
Just let me be at peace where life is right now and have my hopes without you dashing them every chance you get. I can't wish or make promises when I have no idea what the other person is thinking. I didn't expect to be here. He obviously didn't either. It's not my decision to make.
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