Sugar, Sugar

So I was sent an article titled "The Six Steps to Happily Ever After". I'm in the process of evaluating the six steps, and I'm stumped on the first step. I must be slow.

Step #1: Find a shared dream for your life together.

Well that just makes perfect sense in theory... but how do you apply it? Everyone smiles and nods their heads in agreement, but who truly has a shared dream with their spouse? Oh, I know. You must. You just can't remember. I know I sure as hell can't think of a shared dream. Ever get stuck on seeing the future, but not really understanding what it entails? That's where I'm at. I see the future. But where, what, when, how, and why... those are the questions. I have self-dreams. I would like to be closer to my family. I want to be happy. I want someone's hand to hold. I want to be sleeping snuggled up to someone every night. I want to be safe. I want my family to be loved, and be involved and active. I want to be a participant in church. I want to be a prayer warrior. I want to finish school. I want to quilt/knit/sew. I want to walk daily. I want my children to know Christ.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg. I have the more selfish desires, like socks and clothing and cosmetics; and I have the selfless desires like volunteering and being a supportive wife and loving mother. Where does the sharing come in? When is it a shared vision? Do you sit down and devise a plan? I'm sure there's a lot of prayer involved... most couples have disagreements. It must be hard to come up with a cohesive theoretical fairy tale happy ending.


Step #2: Choose each other as your first family.

This is true. Both couples step away from their families and choose to become one with the other person. You love yourself first, right? You wouldn't let yourself die or cut off your own arm, would you? So why wouldn't your spouse, who is now a part of you, become your number one? It's hard to apply though, the pain of family and blood ruins many relationships. Someone should tell the 'second' family this.


Step #3: Learn how to fight right.

I think the correct statement should be learn how to talk and learn how to listen right. It should NEVER come to a fight. Why can't you just COMMUNICATE frustration and agitation and FIX The Problem, why instead should it come down to a battle of wits and insults?


Step #4: Find a balance between time for two and time for you.
Step #4: Find a balance between time for two and time for you.
Step #4: Find a balance between time for two and time for you.

How often does your time 'off' involve time with the person you love? It doesn't count if they're in the same house.


Step #5: Build a best friendship.

I love this one.


Step #6: Face down a major challenge together.
"You never know how strong your relationship is until it is challenged." How about how weak or brittle? That song about standing on solid ground or on sinking sand... I always feel like I'm on sinking sand and slowly suffocating. Sigh.


I suppose the short article was helpful to so many people, and I found it interesting... I'm still stuck on step #1 though... I suppose if you found the person you're meant to be with... the person who's soul is the counterpart to your own... you'll make it work. All of it. Just not alone.