Husbands and Wives

A dialogue of the role of Husband in accordance to God's word, considering the woman's role as being the submissive partner.

For a husband to be the “head” of his wife is for him to follow Jesus’ example of being a servant-leader who did not lord it over us, but sacrificially gave himself for us. Husbands are to love their wives, give themselves up for their wives, care for their wives as they care for their own bodies, just as Christ does for the church. The wife’s role of submitting is in this context. (Mark 10:42-43, Ephesians 5:22-28, 1 Peter 5:1-4).

What does all of this mean? Well if the Husband is to be like Christ, and the Wife is to be like the Church; doesn't it mean the husband should love the woman the way Jesus loves us? Yes.


Leader and provider:

The first primary role in the family of the man is to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual. Spiritual leadership in family home Bible studies and prayers. The wife is the manager of the home, but the husband is the manager of the wife. (1 Tim 5:8)

The second primary role in the family of the man is to be the "breadwinner" Works to make money to support family.


Can a man truly understand a woman? Yes!
"Live with her in an understanding way, since she is a woman" 1 Peter 3:7
(FYI: That means don't call us babies when we cry, or get mad at us because you 'can't do anything'. Just be there.)


PRAISE HER!!
Proverbs 31:28-31
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

God is calling husbands here to COMPLIMENT their wives. To give her PRAISE. Especially when she's a woman of God. Complimenting a woman isn't optional, it's something God CALLS MEN TO DO.

What is the man's most important role? The spiritual role. According to Ephesians 6:4it is the man's job to provide leadership in areas of worship, Bible study, and church attendance.

One of the more important things to remember is that the Husband is to meet the needs of his wife, no matter how 'irrational' they may seem. He has been ordained by God to be the provider, and that includes emotional needs. In the Bible it says a man is to both become one flesh with the woman and also to love her as he loves himself. Say a man slices his arm open with a blade while trying to trim down a plank of wood; it's gouged and bleeding. He would stop, carefully tend to the wound, wash and even protect it with cloth or a bandage. This is how God has called men to care for the woman in their life.

Ephesians 5:28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church...

Understand Her
1 Peter 3:7 as stated above, men are called to Understand the woman. Listen. Ask. Enter into her situation, see-feel what she is facing.

No one said it was EASY but it's their JOB. Understand! And yes, woman think submitting is hard, but understanding is harder. Woman do realize this, I vote this is why women cry so much. But most men don't even TRY to understand. They don't realize that God has called them to Understand. Not if/and/but/or but UNDERSTAND. That's it. Final.

The weaker sex?
"Husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of live, that your prayers be not hindered" 2Peter 3:7. She is not weaker in character and intellect, but she is weaker physically and man must understand her needs and limitations. He must also be aware of her ability to help him. He must also use his abilities in helping her. Wise men show an interest when their wives speak up, and weigh their wisdom, for many times their wisdom out-weighs that of their mates. Sometimes we rob ourselves of the happiness our heavenly father intended for us because we have not learned to enjoy the companionship of our Godly mates.

Men are not 'better' than women!
Men also tend to believe that because they are called to be the head of the household that they are indeed above women. ABOVE their wifes. But women are 'JOINT HEIRS' to the Kingdom. That means we are equal in the eyes of God. We just serve different roles, that doesn't make us any less of a person than the man we are submitting to.

There are even verses in the Bible dictating how a man is supposed to treat his wife. He is not to be bitter toward her, harsh or even hold grudges against her. No ifs, no ands. A MUST. Men are to love their wives unconditionally, just as Christ loves us. That should be shown in how they speak to us. Wives should do the same for their husband, as women are called to be a soft voice as it honors God. But it's a common problem, especially when it's selfserving. "I AM not being treated right" but the Bible states that we should all Eph 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Doesn't that change the way we should fight with our spouses?


Do good for wife....

Ahead of self. Good definition of love.

Ahead of parents. Must leave & cleave, Eph.5:31.

Ahead of children. A temporary relationship. They will leave.

Ahead of work. A means for providing. Not end in itself.

Eph 5:25, Love is primarily responsibility of husband.

And what, exactly is it about Love? A man is called to love his wife as Christ FIRST loved the church. FIRST. If the love has failed, it is the HUSBAND'S FAULT. HE has sinned. You can't plead "she doesn't love me!!" It is YOUR job FIRST, like Christ! Hollywood distorts love, considers it an occassion, a 'happening' if you will. But happenings and feelings are fickle, and undependable. By contrats according to 1 Cor 13:8 LOVE NEVER FAILS. Feelings are a RESULT. Put the other first, make yourself FEEL differently, and feelings will follow. A couple claims they don't love each other any more? They must repent! Love through God in marriage is a command!

Objection; that takes all the romance out of love.

Consider this: Webester’s NWD:
ROMANCE:
"a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by much imagination and idealization.", p.1234

Would you rather make a marriage based on the feelings that are fickle? Here today, gone tomorrow? OR on the covenant made before God? This marriage will be blessed. A promise of unchanging, lifelong committment!


Overall the position of a husband and even love is a tremendous, difficult responsibility. It will not be perfect. Christ is perfection. But He is the example and He showed HOW to do it and that it CAN be done.