A dialogue of the role of Husband in accordance to God's word, considering the woman's role as being the submissive partner.
For a husband to be the “head” of his wife is for him to follow Jesus’ example of being a servant-leader who did not lord it over us, but sacrificially gave himself for us. Husbands are to love their wives, give themselves up for their wives, care for their wives as they care for their own bodies, just as Christ does for the church. The wife’s role of submitting is in this context. (Mark 10:42-43, Ephesians 5:22-28, 1 Peter 5:1-4).
What does all of this mean? Well if the Husband is to be like Christ, and the Wife is to be like the Church; doesn't it mean the husband should love the woman the way Jesus loves us? Yes.
Leader and provider:
The first primary role in the family of the man is to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual. Spiritual leadership in family home Bible studies and prayers. The wife is the manager of the home, but the husband is the manager of the wife. (1 Tim 5:8)
The second primary role in the family of the man is to be the "breadwinner" Works to make money to support family.
Can a man truly understand a woman? Yes!
"Live with her in an understanding way, since she is a woman" 1 Peter 3:7
(FYI: That means don't call us babies when we cry, or get mad at us because you 'can't do anything'. Just be there.)
PRAISE HER!!
Proverbs 31:28-31
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
God is calling husbands here to COMPLIMENT their wives. To give her PRAISE. Especially when she's a woman of God. Complimenting a woman isn't optional, it's something God CALLS MEN TO DO.
What is the man's most important role? The spiritual role. According to Ephesians 6:4it is the man's job to provide leadership in areas of worship, Bible study, and church attendance.
One of the more important things to remember is that the Husband is to meet the needs of his wife, no matter how 'irrational' they may seem. He has been ordained by God to be the provider, and that includes emotional needs. In the Bible it says a man is to both become one flesh with the woman and also to love her as he loves himself. Say a man slices his arm open with a blade while trying to trim down a plank of wood; it's gouged and bleeding. He would stop, carefully tend to the wound, wash and even protect it with cloth or a bandage. This is how God has called men to care for the woman in their life.
Ephesians 5:28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church...
Understand Her
1 Peter 3:7 as stated above, men are called to Understand the woman. Listen. Ask. Enter into her situation, see-feel what she is facing.
No one said it was EASY but it's their JOB. Understand! And yes, woman think submitting is hard, but understanding is harder. Woman do realize this, I vote this is why women cry so much. But most men don't even TRY to understand. They don't realize that God has called them to Understand. Not if/and/but/or but UNDERSTAND. That's it. Final.
The weaker sex?
"Husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of live, that your prayers be not hindered" 2Peter 3:7. She is not weaker in character and intellect, but she is weaker physically and man must understand her needs and limitations. He must also be aware of her ability to help him. He must also use his abilities in helping her. Wise men show an interest when their wives speak up, and weigh their wisdom, for many times their wisdom out-weighs that of their mates. Sometimes we rob ourselves of the happiness our heavenly father intended for us because we have not learned to enjoy the companionship of our Godly mates.
Men are not 'better' than women!
Men also tend to believe that because they are called to be the head of the household that they are indeed above women. ABOVE their wifes. But women are 'JOINT HEIRS' to the Kingdom. That means we are equal in the eyes of God. We just serve different roles, that doesn't make us any less of a person than the man we are submitting to.
There are even verses in the Bible dictating how a man is supposed to treat his wife. He is not to be bitter toward her, harsh or even hold grudges against her. No ifs, no ands. A MUST. Men are to love their wives unconditionally, just as Christ loves us. That should be shown in how they speak to us. Wives should do the same for their husband, as women are called to be a soft voice as it honors God. But it's a common problem, especially when it's selfserving. "I AM not being treated right" but the Bible states that we should all Eph 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Doesn't that change the way we should fight with our spouses?
Do good for wife....
Ahead of self. Good definition of love.
Ahead of parents. Must leave & cleave, Eph.5:31.
Ahead of children. A temporary relationship. They will leave.
Ahead of work. A means for providing. Not end in itself.
Eph 5:25, Love is primarily responsibility of husband.
And what, exactly is it about Love? A man is called to love his wife as Christ FIRST loved the church. FIRST. If the love has failed, it is the HUSBAND'S FAULT. HE has sinned. You can't plead "she doesn't love me!!" It is YOUR job FIRST, like Christ! Hollywood distorts love, considers it an occassion, a 'happening' if you will. But happenings and feelings are fickle, and undependable. By contrats according to 1 Cor 13:8 LOVE NEVER FAILS. Feelings are a RESULT. Put the other first, make yourself FEEL differently, and feelings will follow. A couple claims they don't love each other any more? They must repent! Love through God in marriage is a command!
Objection; that takes all the romance out of love.
Consider this: Webester’s NWD:
ROMANCE:
"a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by much imagination and idealization.", p.1234
Would you rather make a marriage based on the feelings that are fickle? Here today, gone tomorrow? OR on the covenant made before God? This marriage will be blessed. A promise of unchanging, lifelong committment!
Overall the position of a husband and even love is a tremendous, difficult responsibility. It will not be perfect. Christ is perfection. But He is the example and He showed HOW to do it and that it CAN be done.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I've spent my entire adult life running from something bigger than myself. I've been shown repeatedly that there is more to this life, that there is someone that is reaching out. Yes, I'm a christian. But no, I'm not being the woman God wants me to be. I'm not being the witness he wants me to be. I met someone and convinced myself they were going to help me be that woman, that they were sent to me by God. That we would go to church, be a happy Christian family together, hold hands and pray aloud together, worship the God that brought us together with eachother, raise our children to be in a holy-Christ centered home. I was so sure. Or I lied so well. I don't know.
It's not that he's not a man of God. I suppose his heart isn't one that I can see. I do know we aren't in church. I do know we don't pray together. I do know we don't worship God together. I do know our children aren't being raised in a Christ-centered home.
And I know I'm not being a light in a ocmmunity. If I know anything, I know that God has called me to step outside my comfort zone and be a light in a community. I know He wants me to be a witness to others and be INVOLVED.
I feel as though I'm being pulled away from God. Far away. I wonder often if there's even an option to go back, because it feels like I'm so far away. And because I'm so far away, I'm leaving my life open to attack and the enemy has gotten his hands in my life through death, tragedy, and trauma.
Maybe he thought that I was the woman that he would want to go to church with, that I would be the woman he'd want to do those things with. But right now I'm still holding onto words that were told to me and have yet to be fulfilled. I should have listened to my mind, but I was so scared to be alone. So terrifed of what would happen to me and my daughter.
I do love him, and it hurts to think of being without him. But I'm so very tired of lying awake at night praying by myself, asking God to forgive me. I'm tired of being with men that promise and promise and promise and don't come through.
I think my spirit is completely broken. It has been breaking. Ever since I decided to have sex outside of marriage. And it's only getting worse. Even if I lie to myself and tell myself I'm getting involved with another Christian, I break more and more. And it's showing in my attitude, my persona, and my physical body even. It is unnatural for a human being to be seperated from the God that created them. That is why it hurts so much, why bad things happen. Where is my prince charming? In heaven on the right hand of God. I only wish I wasn't so scared to take a leap into the unknown. I feel like Jonah. Like I walked over to the cliff and looked down and saw the hurting people and faces and grew so embarassed I ran and hid. And now look were I am? Lying to myself. Lying and saying that the man I'm with will push me up closer toward God, when in all honesty I'm being pulled AWAY from God. My lifeforce is being suffocated. My spirit feels like its starving to death, I can feel it inside me; a constant ache. I cry every time I pray with desperation because it hurts so bad.
1 Peter 3:13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[b]; do not be frightened."[c] 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
I have become a person I don't like. I have become a woman that is not a great example of what I believe. Where is this God I serve?
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Maybe I let both of us down. Maybe he really thought he would do those things for me and then decided I wasn't worth it. Maybe he wanted to do those things for me, or even for God, but he just has too much hurt. Maybe it's really because he's too busy for God. But I'm falling apart, and the man of God I thought would be there, and the God I need are just so far away. I've turned away from God for a man. Again.
And I don't know how to get through to him. How can a person be a Christian and not crave God? Not NEED God? How can you be saved and have the Holy Spirit living IN you and still not NEED God?
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Isaiah 54:6
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.
It's not that he's not a man of God. I suppose his heart isn't one that I can see. I do know we aren't in church. I do know we don't pray together. I do know we don't worship God together. I do know our children aren't being raised in a Christ-centered home.
And I know I'm not being a light in a ocmmunity. If I know anything, I know that God has called me to step outside my comfort zone and be a light in a community. I know He wants me to be a witness to others and be INVOLVED.
I feel as though I'm being pulled away from God. Far away. I wonder often if there's even an option to go back, because it feels like I'm so far away. And because I'm so far away, I'm leaving my life open to attack and the enemy has gotten his hands in my life through death, tragedy, and trauma.
Maybe he thought that I was the woman that he would want to go to church with, that I would be the woman he'd want to do those things with. But right now I'm still holding onto words that were told to me and have yet to be fulfilled. I should have listened to my mind, but I was so scared to be alone. So terrifed of what would happen to me and my daughter.
I do love him, and it hurts to think of being without him. But I'm so very tired of lying awake at night praying by myself, asking God to forgive me. I'm tired of being with men that promise and promise and promise and don't come through.
I think my spirit is completely broken. It has been breaking. Ever since I decided to have sex outside of marriage. And it's only getting worse. Even if I lie to myself and tell myself I'm getting involved with another Christian, I break more and more. And it's showing in my attitude, my persona, and my physical body even. It is unnatural for a human being to be seperated from the God that created them. That is why it hurts so much, why bad things happen. Where is my prince charming? In heaven on the right hand of God. I only wish I wasn't so scared to take a leap into the unknown. I feel like Jonah. Like I walked over to the cliff and looked down and saw the hurting people and faces and grew so embarassed I ran and hid. And now look were I am? Lying to myself. Lying and saying that the man I'm with will push me up closer toward God, when in all honesty I'm being pulled AWAY from God. My lifeforce is being suffocated. My spirit feels like its starving to death, I can feel it inside me; a constant ache. I cry every time I pray with desperation because it hurts so bad.
1 Peter 3:13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[b]; do not be frightened."[c] 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
I have become a person I don't like. I have become a woman that is not a great example of what I believe. Where is this God I serve?
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Maybe I let both of us down. Maybe he really thought he would do those things for me and then decided I wasn't worth it. Maybe he wanted to do those things for me, or even for God, but he just has too much hurt. Maybe it's really because he's too busy for God. But I'm falling apart, and the man of God I thought would be there, and the God I need are just so far away. I've turned away from God for a man. Again.
And I don't know how to get through to him. How can a person be a Christian and not crave God? Not NEED God? How can you be saved and have the Holy Spirit living IN you and still not NEED God?
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Isaiah 54:6
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I just opened an email that had the "love tarot card" of the day. While I know God is greater than a deck of cards, I almost feel as though He's speaking to me via the words that were listed. This is what I read this morning:
The Five of Chalices card reversed suggests that there is a chance that you're not being honest with yourself. It's time you dealt with unresolved issues, deep fears or unfinished business, which, like a silent undercurrent or an unbridged gap in your heart, could be affecting intimacy in your relationship or love life. Staying busy, turning to familiar comforts or resorting to compulsive behavior could be covering up denial, suffering, stagnation or heartache. Genuinely come to terms with the truth by confronting or forgiving your own role in whatever it is you regret so that you can let go, move on and become more open to romance. There is a safe harbor of support and security available to you, but you might need to seek it out. Recovery and healing are inner work and can begin only after there has been acknowledgement of the hurts that have occurred.
I am not where I am supposed to be. I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. My life is God's and I'm not showing that. I wanted the marriage that was two people madly in love with God first, and eachother second. I wanted to be holding the hand of someone that I believed worshipped God and chose to make God a part of our lives. I wanted to be a witness, but I don't want to be one alone. I don't want to be alone. God, life is so short and I'm still running from You because I'm scared that I have to be alone.
The Five of Chalices card reversed suggests that there is a chance that you're not being honest with yourself. It's time you dealt with unresolved issues, deep fears or unfinished business, which, like a silent undercurrent or an unbridged gap in your heart, could be affecting intimacy in your relationship or love life. Staying busy, turning to familiar comforts or resorting to compulsive behavior could be covering up denial, suffering, stagnation or heartache. Genuinely come to terms with the truth by confronting or forgiving your own role in whatever it is you regret so that you can let go, move on and become more open to romance. There is a safe harbor of support and security available to you, but you might need to seek it out. Recovery and healing are inner work and can begin only after there has been acknowledgement of the hurts that have occurred.
I am not where I am supposed to be. I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. My life is God's and I'm not showing that. I wanted the marriage that was two people madly in love with God first, and eachother second. I wanted to be holding the hand of someone that I believed worshipped God and chose to make God a part of our lives. I wanted to be a witness, but I don't want to be one alone. I don't want to be alone. God, life is so short and I'm still running from You because I'm scared that I have to be alone.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I am sitting here looking at the photo of a girl I wouldn't even call a friend, merely someone I knew in Highschool, and I'm finding myself JEALOUS of her marriage. Jealous. Because she has a Christian husband, and even though I don't know this for sure; I know this is a marriage based on Christ... they both want to be in ministry, and I'm sure they pray together every night. I'm sure they read the Bible together. I'm sure when they have children they're going to pray with them, and read the Bible to them. And I'm sure she's not doing it by herself. I can't be the one to be empowered to do that. I'm not married to the man I'm with, my daughter isn't being prayed over every night before she goes to sleep, and neither are the other two. I feel like there's a massive distance between my partner and I because there isn't any God in our relationship.... any day off he has is spent gaming and lounging. No couple time away from children, no going to church to worship God and tithe, no nothing.
Sigh. All I want is to go to church and I really felt that movie (Fireproof) would have benefitted us. I want a man like that to be married to. I want to be a woman behind a man that I can feel God pulling me TO not AWAY from.
Sigh. All I want is to go to church and I really felt that movie (Fireproof) would have benefitted us. I want a man like that to be married to. I want to be a woman behind a man that I can feel God pulling me TO not AWAY from.
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